Suppose there where many opportunities in the world and all you had to do was grab one, let it take you where it wants and if it isn't to your liking, just grab another one and see where you get to.
That's an interesting concept if it really existed - I'd have be the first on that bandwagon, as my previous post suggests - opportunity doesn't fall into everyone's lap, also - if they go out looking for it its usually not as satisfying as they thought it would be. But never has there been a lack of trying or optimistic drive. I'm definitely driven and motivated, all I need is the opportunity to be there for me to grab with both hands.
So I'm being honest with myself and others starting today, I'm over the hill and there is very little to loose at this point. As stated in my last post, things are unraveling and trying to fall apart again. Not this freaken time Karma, or Murphy or whoever the fuck you are. Just had it with this crap, I want a career and a good salary, something that satisfies me to the core, something to build on or move on from should it not work out according to plan and I will find it. This time though, I'm not going to hold on tooo tight, it's just going to work out, create more opportunity and extend for the rest of my physical life on this earth.
I'm not willing for the next 30years to fly by undetected and boring as the previous 30. No longer will I be put down for the lack of a degree, I will not longer accept being tamed. Just because I was brought up being put down all the time doesn't mean I'm not incredibly curious - does mean though that I'm not as outspoken as should be - undeniably intelligent, systematic and get the job done without stabbing anyone in the back.
I have to start a proper blog in my real name (damn) which you won't be able to read as I cannot share what I share here. I will though be blogging more often, if I don't get an outlet for this frustration it's may just blow up in my face again. It won't be too personal as its mainly to advertise my writing skills (which have been put down ever so often). I used to be easily discouraged, but that is over now.
As mentioned to my son yesterday, I do not have to answer to anyone, get permission from anyone or get twenty-questioned every step of every way. This is my attitude now, I will give when I want and take what is given if it suites me.
The choice is really mine ... was just always afraid of being rejected, put down and criticized because there's been so much of it my entire life. To hell with the rest of them, I have one life, if I don't' live it I'm the only one who will have any regrets and that is something I'm never doing again.
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